First World Problems


(Aka A blog post in which I whine about inconsequential things that I probably shouldn’t whine about. But where’s the fun in that?)

  • Target – What the Hell, guys? I go in there for a damned pack of deli ham and I come out with solar walkway lights, an outdoor chair (with cushion), kids’ pajamas, three packs of coffee, and friggin’ lemon poppyseed scones? I mean, I nearly ended up with fairy lights to hang in the Japanese maple. I just can’t even with you anymore.
  • iPhone – The Home button is sticking. Apocalypse.
  • Pollen – My black minivan is now yellow. Pine trees are raping my car.
  • Instagram – There is no longer an option to log out. Between this and the Home button, I’m just going to burn my phone. Or run it over with my “yellow” car.
  • The Martian – Andy Weir needs to get on the stick and write another book. Because I keep staring at the cover of The Martian and pining. Not that I don’t already have a stack of books I could be reading. It’s just easier to sulk about books that haven’t yet been written.
  • Sirius XM 80s on 8 – THE 80s HAD MORE GROUPS THAN CULTURE CLUB AND MORE MUSIC THAN KARMA CHAMELEON!!!! JUST STOP! PLEASE!!! AND TAKE THAT JOURNEY NONSENSE AND SHOVE IT!
  • Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – July, ya’ll. WE HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL JULY FOR THIS!!
  • Converse – They need to be in every single color known to man. And in my closet. Because one pair of black and one pair of denim blue will never be enough.

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